Taming the Grocery Store

I’ve hinted that I had some pointers on how to successfully navigate your grocery store, and last night, while organizing my pantry (what?  Why are you laughing?  You don’t organize your pantry on a random weekday night?) I decided this would be a great beginning for this blog.  I had to chuckle at some of the bizarre things in there for which there was no category.  For example, where would I put the tin of sardines?  Nope.  Not by the tuna, because I store my tuna cans in the fridge so when I make tuna salad it’s ready to eat.  Where should the clam sauce go?  (Not clams.  Not clam juice for the occasional bloody bull.  Clam sauce.)  By the soups or in the pasta sauce section?  I always know when dad’s been shopping… (By the way, my dad lives with us.)

Occasionally, I’ll ask him to go to Kroger to pick up something very specific for me. (I usually even write down the brand!) Never fails, though. Yes he brings home my request, but never without the exotic (man’s obsessed with stuffed olives) or somewhat sketchy (Spam.  ‘Nuff said) as well.  He walks up and down every aisle in the grocery store.  Not because he is lost.  It’s because he has “Dr. Consumer” stamped across his forehead, and he is exactly the kind of sucker Kroger opens their doors for! 

Can you relate to my wandering father?  How do you do your food shopping?

I guess grocery store owners must sign a pact that they’ll set up their stores exactly like their competitors.  It’s a good thing, though, because it makes this lesson universally simple.

Pick the majority of your food from the perimeter and the middle aisle.  

Think about it.  That takes in produce, meats, the fish counter, dairy, eggs, good juices, frozen foods and the deli section.  It also includes the bakery, but I’ve yet to see a national chain of grocery stores bake anything but junk, so it’s best to get your bread from the bread aisle after you’ve read some labels.  (Remember, you’re looking for the words “whole” or “100%” on the front.)

About 75% of your food should come from these two areas.  The other 25% might be soups to cook with, tuna, bread products, peanut butter, pickles, popcorn and Wheat Thins Stix!  

And so you know?  A grocery store is like a playground for clever food marketers.  It’s no mistake you get assaulted with buy one/get one “deals,” fresh fried chicken, test tasters of guacamole, cakes and cheeses and eye-level bestsellers.  This, my friends, is why YOU GO IN PREPARED.  You make your list, and you don’t vary. 

And another thing.  Don’t become a food snob.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with frozen fruits and vegetables. They are picked and flash-frozen so as to minimize the nutrients lost in the process.  Oftentimes, frozen vegetables have more vitamins and minerals, not to mention fiber, than the “fresh” ones that got all bendy and slimy in your produce drawer in the fridge.  Same with fruits.  Alert, alert, though.  Buy your frozen foods simple and without sauces or sugars added.  Next up, it’s time.  CARBS.